Funny Stuff

SIGNS AND BUMBER STICKERS FUN

Electricians Truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

Scientist's Door: "Gone Fission."

Podiatrist's Office: "Time wounds all heels."

Vet's Office: "Back in five minutes; Sit! Stay!

Computer Store: "Out for a quick byte."

Farmer's Fence: "Farmer allows walkers across field; bull charges."

Car Dealership: "Best way to get back on your feet; miss a payment."

The Minister and the Cab Driver

A minister dies and waits in line at the Pearly Gates behind a guy dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans. When asked by St. Peter who he is, he replies

"I am Joe, a taxi-driver in Noo Yawk City."

St. Peter consults his list and then says to the taxi-driver,

"Take this silken robe & golden staff and enter the Kingdom."

The minister then says to St. Peter,

"I am Pastor Snow of St. Mary's parish for over 45 years."

After consulting his list, St. Peter says to Pastor Snow,

"Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom."

"Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a taxi-driver and he gets a silken robe and a golden staff; how can that be?"

"Up here, we work by results," says St. Peter. "While you preached, pleople slept; while he drove, people prayed."

The Psychiatric Hotline

* If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly

* If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2

* If you have multi personalities, please press 3,4,5,6

* If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

* If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you what number to press.

* If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.